A Morning in a Fort

"Hey Mom, let's build a fort!"

These are the six words that directed the activities of the morning.  Gathering blankets and pillows, moving furniture, and building walls from blocks and duplos.  Then onto choosing books and our stuffed animal "snuggly" friends to share our tiny, very warm, living room fort.  (It was very hot and humid in the house - no A/C.)

It isn't every morning that I make the conscious choice to just play.  Most mornings I try to create a blend of my have-to's, my want-to's, and CB's play plans.  And usually I get the carpet vacuumed, or half a load of laundry done accompanied by a twinge of something uncomfortable.
This morning, laying in the fort, listening to CB read books to me, pretending to be the mommy, and hearing H's baby coos, I was able to put a word to that nasty twinge: regret.

Regret for not just enjoying my kids, too distracted by the mundane.  Regret for not always following down the path where childhood whimsy leads.  Regret for not being as connected to my kids as I could be.

We stuffed more into that fort than it seemed there was room for - stuffed animals, juice boxes, books, blankets, a boppy, a baby, and a little table.  But....there was no regret in that fort.

Thanks to Steady Mom's 30 Minute Blog Challenge for the inspiration on this post.

Diary of a mom's daily invention

As I begin this project, I feel the need to explain why I am writing this blog.  It's a strange and wonderful feeling to know that I am both writing to myself and to some unknown audience.  The possibilities are endless and are bringing me a nice little buzz of excitement.  But with that excitement, I'm a little bewildered and naive about what this blogging experience will bring.

So, it seems fitting to start with an explanation. 

For the past several years, I've been feeling myself evolve as the highs and lows of motherhood have had their way with me.  I want to be more present with this metamorphosis, aware of the details and alive to the meaning within the blurr that is family life with young children.  To record experiences in writing is to re-live them.  Writing helps squeeze out the real, the sweetness.  Sometimes when I write or talk about my day, I find myself more aware of the amazing, breathtaking moments.  These are the moments that I imagined for ourselves before we had children.

To write about something is to explore it and to value the experience.  The ephemeral nature of any given moment in family life requires one to stop, look, and listen.   Otherwise, the moment has passed and someone's begging for a snack and a poopy diaper needs to be changed.

Going beyond myself, figuring out how to be the mom that I want to be is a gift and a challenge.  I invent myself daily, for my family and for myself, piecing together what it takes to make our worlds go round each day. 

This blog is a piece of that invention.